didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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