why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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