Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
