This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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