plz talk dirty to me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
