my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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