I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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