oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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