btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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