when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
