somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
