maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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