ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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