allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
