I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
