Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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