hotel room ftw
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
