I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
