Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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