He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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