at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize