I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
