once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
