you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
