in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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