good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
