Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Drake has all the answers
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
