Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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