this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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