You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
