talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
