You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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