Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
