don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
