I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
