I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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