sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
