The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
