Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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