How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
