omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
