And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
