Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
