I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize