Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
