Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
