So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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