She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
