Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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