haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize