that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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