you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
