I hope mine doesn't look like that
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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