Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
