Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
