Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
