He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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