Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
