is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
