Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
