my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
