I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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