the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
